


Whenever I (You) go

by Orlha



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor - Fandom
Genre: Bucky is a little shit, F/M, Humorous bantering, Steve Rogers & the pan, The pan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 16:46:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7113961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orlha/pseuds/Orlha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m pretty sure we weren’t even on rotation for any world threatening events today,” he said to Steve, shooting another troll in the head.</p><p>"I'm pretty sure that only applies when the world threatening event doesn't spawn directly on top of you and try to eat your date." Steve grunted and smashed a chair against a troll. He swung the metal table at the troll’s face, so hard that the table had a troll face-shaped dent on it. The troll only staggered back, opening and closing its jaw like it was stuck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whenever I (You) go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Artemis_Day](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Day/gifts).



> This is for Iamartemisday who won the 3rd prize for the 100 follower giveaway. It’s really supposed 700 words.. but we all know how that always goes.. I also realise my theme was supposed to be double date… but the date part died on me mostly because I’ve never been on a double date… or an actual date. So yeeeep *poof* missing. But hey!! A+ for Jane and Bucky making out and Steve ripping his shirt off.
> 
> Jane’s science is 100% not-legit because I am not scientist or sciency person and well yea. Excuse my non-science nonsense.

Darcy’s lips curled the moment she swung open the door. “ _That_  is not date dress,” Darcy said, her heel slamming the door shut as she strode in. “We agreed to this, Janie! Now take that flannel shirt off and wear that cute black dress with the gold belt.”

She pulled Jane’s closet door open, pushing past the numerous flannel shirts and tugged the black dress that Jane had desperately tried to murder out of her closet. “Come on Dee,” Jane whined when Darcy took out her  _only_ pair of black heels. “You can’t run in those!”

Darcy shot her look. “It’s a date. We’re not going to a marathon. Unless that’s what you and Bucky call foreplay. I’m all for it, yaaay, but you agreed to it when you signed the agreement too!”

“I signed it under duress!”

“It doesn’t qualify as duress when you agreed  _excitedly_ to the fact that we’ll stop nagging at you for two whole weeks if you went out wearing a date dress  _and heels_  for one night with us. In which nagging doesn’t qualify if you forget to eat or sleep for any amount of time that’s deemed unhealthy by Helen.”

Jane blinked at Darcy before sniffing and folding her arms. “I don’t even know how you managed to say all that in one breath. Did you even breathe?”

Darcy smiled wryly. “It’s part of being a political science student. You should try it some time.” Tilting her face up, Darcy heaved a large breath. “And maybe some makeup too.”

“I don’t need makeup. It’s not like Bucky hasn’t seen me without makeup.”

“Well, it’s date night! And we are  _all_  going to look pretty, okay?”

Jane sighed. “Okay, let’s just get this over and be done with this.”

\----

The boys were on time as always, not that Jane had a lot to go by, ‘ _dates’_  with Bucky had almost always ended up with Bucky cooking dinner and they cuddling in front of the TV with something meaningless turned on.

Bucky and Steve looking amazing, dressed in a dark blue and black suit respectively with flowers in hand. Bucky grinned and pressed a kiss on her temple, handing her the hydrangea bouquet. “You look amazing, sweetheart,” he murmured.

Jane ran a hand on his face. How she landed such a man was beyond her imagination. “You look amazing too.”

He tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow, lagging behind Steve and Darcy. “Let’s finish this quickly and come back,” he whispered to her. “I think I prefer that dress on the floor of your apartment.”

“I’m all for skipping dinner and right to dessert.”

“And let you starve? What kind of boyfriend would I be?”

\----

They were just at the main course with their steaks cooked to perfection. Jane had to admit that it was nice to spend just one night out from her work when suddenly a large beam of light broke through the ceiling and into the floor several feet from them.

Bucky tackled Jane to the ground even before she could scream, covering her body with his. “What was that?” Darcy called out from beneath Steve.

Immediately identifying the creatures that had materialised from thin air, Jane screeched, hands clutching Bucky’s shoulders as he ran towards the bar, “One night! It was just one night out! And the Bifrost activates on the one night that I’m not in my lab!”

“All the calculations I could have gotten from this...” she moaned, resisting Bucky’s attempts to put her safely behind the bar. The bartender stared at them wide-eyed when Bucky literally punched a green troll-like creature away and the creature flew into the air, smashing through the fake partition.

“Sweetheart, I need you to stay here and be safe, okay?” He tilted her face and kissed her before spinning away, pistol in one hand and knife in the other. The creatures were ugly and almost twice the size of Steve with long nails on each three fingered hand. Damn, they looked like the trolls from that Ring movie that Darcy and Jane loved to watch. Ring of Lord Towers or was it Lord of the Ring Towers? He was too busy making out with Jane to ever remember the darn name.

He kicked one away, slashing its throat as he made his way to Steve, who was already fighting off the trolls.

“I’m pretty sure we weren’t even on rotation for any world threatening events today,” he said to Steve, shooting another troll in the head.

"I'm pretty sure that only applies when the world threatening event doesn't spawn directly on top of you and try to eat your date," Steve grunted and smashed a chair against a troll. He swung the metal table at the troll’s face, so hard that the table had a troll face-shaped dent on it. The troll only staggered back, opening and closing its jaw like it was stuck. “You’re supposed to go down.”

Bucky’s pistol clicked empty. Throwing the useless pistol at the troll behind Steve, pulling out his trusty colt rifle his hidden holster beneath his suit jacket.

“How did you even fit that in your suit?”

He smashed the butt of the rifle into the troll’s face and levelled Steve a look. “Trust me when I say, you don’t want to know.”

“But what if I do?” Steve smashed the table again, this time dodging a large spit projectile.

“Oh gross. Did that just spit at you?” Darcy asked.

“Darcy?” Steve spun around, staring at his girlfriend. “You’re supposed to be behind the bar with Jane.”

She stabbed her taser into the troll, sending thousands of volts into the troll. The troll spasmed for several seconds and nearly crushed her, had it not been for Steve punching it away. “That’s assuming Jane’s there. By the way, I pretty sure this doesn’t count as a world-threatening event, when the only thing they’re threatening is your shirt,” she replied, raking her eyes down his chest and licked her lips with a wicked grin.

Steve looked down. His black suit and formal shirt were mostly torn and oh. Is that spit… Oh! He ripped his shirt off just in time to see a portion of his skin be corroded by the apparently corrosive spit.

“Well. That’s one way of removing acid,” Darcy beamed at him, running her hand lightly over his abs.

“Seriously, stop flirting with your dame and help me here Steve!” Bucky yelled. He bull-rushed a troll into the partition. Dive-rolling to the left to avoid several spit projectiles, he landed lightly on his feet, already swinging an arm into the solar plexus of another troll. The troll did not bend in half like Bucky had expected it to. Throwing his metal arm, he grunted as his body skidded a few feet from the troll’s punch. A large, metal spinning thing flew into the troll, knocking it out cold.

“Is that-” Bucky stared at the object. “A pan? Where did you get the pan from?”

“Yea.” Steve picked it up, whirling it a few times in the air. “I think I like it. Think Tony will make one for me in vibranium?”

“Hey- Where’s Jane?” Darcy asked. “I kinda crawled all the way to the bar and couldn’t find her.”

“She was saying about calculations…” The three stared at each other for a moment.

“NO!” They yelled, dashing towards where the white light was still burning into through the roof.

Sure enough, Jane was there, at the edge of the light. With her phone. And her bloody notepad. And completely oblivious to the troll looming behind her. Bucky swore, grabbing the pan out of Steve’s hand. He ran as fast as he could, skidding halfway towards it, arm outstretched, smashing the pan straight into the troll’s face. The troll flew into the air, landing into the bar.

“Jane! What did I say about staying behind the bar?”

“You don’t get it!” Jane yelled at him. Now that they were right beside the beam, Bucky could hear the deafening hum of the light. “They’re going to keep coming until we close it!”

“Can you?”

Jane rolled her eyes at him. “Judging by the rate the light hits the ground, amplifying by the quantum-quartz Foster equation that I created and following the Selvig circuital law, we can close it!”

“Like now?”

“Yes like now!” She eyed the dented pan in Bucky’s hand. “Is that a pan?”

He glanced down, hesitatingly replying her, “Yes…?”

“A stainless steel one?” Jane snatched the pan out of his hand. “Yes perfect. Darcy! Throw me your taser!”

Perhaps it was a testament to how frequent Darcy was used to Jane’s odd requests that she threw it at them without a question. Bucky caught it with his flesh hand, slipping it into her hands. “Are you sure you know this would work?”

“Pretty damn sure,” she said. Handing the taser and the pan back at him, she pointed at a top most of the beam. “Throw the pan into that direction. When the pan hits that point, shoot the taser at it.”

“That’s it?”

Jane whipped her phone out. “Mostly! Now throw!”

Bucky threw the pan at the point that Jane had told him to. The pan flew in an unwavering arc into the beam of light, glowing in a strange aureate light as the taser’s electricity wrapped it. Suddenly, a brilliant repulsor-like sound came from Jane. His head snapped towards her, realising that it had come from her phone. The repulsor beam had come from her phone. The moment the repulsor beam hit the pan, the light shattered, dissipating.

“Stark said that I might need some protection so he built a repulsor into my phone. The repulsor waves emitted a cylindrical wave, along with some beta radiation, so when the-”

Bucky set his mouth on hers, her lips moving with his. His thumb stroking her cheekbones as he pressed deeper. “Tell me again how you did it,” he said hoarsely.

Jane smiled at him, knowing how her science talk aroused him. “So when the pan, electrified by the electricity connected with the beta radiation from the repulsor waves, it created a chain reaction, emitting a radiation called Vita-rays.” She pulled him towards, standing on her tippy toes and pressing her mouth to his. “The light beam was powered by something called the binary-froster-” Bucky scooped her off her feet, carrying her in his arms, kissing her soundly.

“Steve, I’m heading home first!”

Steve waved his hand at him, mouth busy with kissing down Darcy’s neck.

“I think this night was pretty successful, we should do it again,” Jane said to Bucky much later that night when they finally slumped on the bed, exhausted. Bucky kissed her breasts one last time before wrapping himself around her.

“Maybe we can just skip to the end.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> My [tumblr post](http://luna-orlha.tumblr.com/post/145510898045/wherever-i-you-go) has cute giffss (๑◕︵◕๑) I took so much time making themmm


End file.
